Facing Criticism As A Parent


As a “Natural Mother” it is not uncommon to face derision or people questioning your choices. You will probably have to put up with things being said to you like:

“What? You don’t use Panadol? What the hell do you use?”

“Oh you’re not one of those ‘natural’ mothers are you? You’ll use Panadol one day. Trust me. When those teeth come in, you’ll be dosing him up!”

“If your baby cries while you’re driving, just give him some Nurofen. That’ll keep him quiet.”

“You haven’t had him immunized? Aren’t you worried he could get really sick? He could die.”

Before the age of 12 months I was asked questions like:

“Why can’t I give him icecream? It was only a little bit.”

“Can he have fairy floss? Just a little bit on his tongue?”

“Why isn’t he allowed Easter Eggs?”

“Does he eat enough? Is his diet healthy enough for him? He looks very underweight.”

For some reason, I have found that there a lot of people who seem to have a negative view of ‘older’ babies being breast fed.

“Oh you still breastfeed?” (My bub was only 16months at the time).

Breast milk is the healthiest option for your baby. It supports their immune system and provides them with nutrients that cannot be found elsewhere.

Yes I still breastfeed! And yes, I am proud of it!

I do not know why people care what I feed my baby. Or why they feel the need to comment on or question my choices. I think every mother faces some judgement, some criticism or someone giving you unwanted advice at some point. Sometimes I think these people may mean well, and sometimes I think naysayers feel threatened by the choices I’ve made because they were different to their own.

I do what I feel is right, and I do not believe in criticizing others for choices they have made. I welcome advice when I have asked for it. I am proud of the way I have raised my son.

I just wanted to let other mothers-who may face the same predicaments-know that it’s ok to make the choices you feel comfortable with. It’s ok to raise your baby the way you want to. If your baby is healthy and happy. Then there is nothing wrong.

Love and light,
Pokarlla.

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6 thoughts on “Facing Criticism As A Parent

  1. at 23 I still had a lot to learn ………… 8 pregnacies, nine babies, one neo-natal death, far too many miscarriages and eventually a healthy girl and boy. I learnt to smile and listen because I learn something from every person I meet. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have a mind of my own but it made my journey richer ….. just saying 🙂

    1. Thank-you for sharing your thoughts Lee.
      I agree with you. I am glad for the advice and directions I have received from people in my life (especially my wonderful mother who has taught me many of the things I know and share, and my Autistic brother Kalani who teaches me new things all the time). It is great to listen and absorb information from all walks of life. This post was merely one that I wanted to share with other young mums who may face people in their life who express doubts, criticisms and downright disdain for choices they may have made. I am not advocating that you close your eyes and ears to others, for I too believe in gaining enrichment from everyone life brings you. But just because someone is older or may have done it all before, does not necessarily mean that your way is wrong and theirs is right. Different things work for different people. I am a strong believer in standing up for yourself and I believe in self empowerment.

  2. thats awesome babe, everyone has their own mind and can make their own decisions either way no decision is wronf, every parent knows in their heart what is right from wrong for THEIR child. i chose immunistions and mainstream food that isnt all organic….my choices i made because i chose that i could live with the fact that may child may risk developing autism next to the fact of him dying of whooping cough, i chose mainstream food because this is what i eat and i am perfectly healthy. i chose bottle feeding because i could develop milk naturally, my son is extremely healthy and is up to par with all of his learning requirements and sleeps all the way through the bloody night. everyone is going to judge everyone because as humans thats what we do when we are insecure. so coming from a natural mother (pookie) and a not mainstream mother (myself) no one is wrong or better. we both do what we think is right for the kids and dont push it upon others 🙂

    1. I love what you have written Jana.
      You have expressed exactly what I was aiming to get across with this post. 🙂 I love talking to other mums and discovering different ways of doing things, and I love sharing with them the way that I do things. Like you said, we do not push our opinions or ways upon others, and I respect that. Another facet of this post was myself wishing that others would extend the same courtesy or at least make an effort to find out and understand why I have made the choices I have made before they input their own opinion.

      1. well thats what i think, ive been given enough education from your mum and tarlz about natural ways of things, but i chose to make my own decision because i didnt believe enough in it. i do feel a little defensive at times with natural mothers because most…unlike you are critical against mums like me who feed there bubs and treat them mainstream. being responsible for someone elses life that is not your own is a crazy thing in itself so i take my hat off to any mum who makes their child feel loved and wanted because really when everything falls to poop thats all that is going to matter. i give credit to you being all natural and what not, i choose diff cause of my upbringing and my life is hectic enough without adding more routine gaahhhh!!! but i dont feel in any way like either of us are treating our kids wrongly. sorry for the ramble theres just so much to say on this topic lol.

  3. Haha, it’s not rambling. And I know what you mean about there being so much to say on the topic.

    Being a mum/parent has got to be the toughest job around. Everyone who becomes a parent must learn their own way and live with the decisions they have made. And so many different factors come into play when deciding how to parent your child. Your own upbringing, your level of education, your own specialized knowledge, your child and their needs and what you feel most comfortable doing.

    You’re right. What any child needs most is love and safety. And like I said: as long as your child is happy and healthy, you have made the right choice! Regardless of what that may be 🙂

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